Sunday, January 4, 2015

Looking Back

I have so much to write about and such little time to do so!
Here is me 1 year ago
And here is me today!
I may not look like I have changed very much.... gained a little more weight... I cut my hair... and I have traveled around the south to many different places.
But I have changed SO MUCH inside!!!!!
I feel as though my SOUL has grown. My spirit has become a bigger part of me than the flesh.
I am learning who the 'natural man' is inside of me, and learning how to control it. I am giving my spirit greater power over myself and learning each day how to make the best use of my agency.

I have been thinking a lot about who I have become since I became a missionary. I feel like I am still myself, but that I have let my mission mold me into who I have always wanted to be. I still have a long way to go, but I feel that you don't have to be "perfect" to be an amazing person; and my goal when I came on my mission was that I didn't just want to "pass through." I really wanted to make a difference and to make an impression.

Lately what has been on my mind a lot is the fact of all the promises in my patriarchal blessing that have been fulfilled.
(if you don't know what a patriarchal blessing is, you can find out HERE----->
But as I often read over all the things I have been promised if I am faithful, I can see them beginning to unfold. I see all the things I am doing right now that are mentioned in my patriarchal blessing, but I just didn't realize that was what was meant when I recieved it.
I am so grateful to be a missionary!
There is not a day that goes by that I am not happy to be here.

I had a dream the other night. I was home from my mission,  and I was just DEPRESSED! Tears were always flowing down my face and finally my mom turns to me and asks me what was wrong. I said "I would give anything, for just 5 more minutes on my mission."
I woke up and realized that I was still here...... and I was so happy I almost cried! I glanced over to my bedside table and saw my name-tag sitting there... I had to grab it and put it on!
I am grateful Heavenly Father allowed me to have that dream because sometimes it is easy to "wish our missions away" thinking about all the other things we could be doing.... missing our friends and family back home.... the list goes on. But I needed that reminder that my time here is so short, and I know that pretty soon I will be on that airplane back home and wishing I could only have "5 more minutes."
So for these last 3 transfers (transfers are every 6 weeks) I am going to try and make the best use of the Lord's time here and not waste it or wish it away. I know that my life will still be there when I get home, but missions aren't about you!!!!

I hope everyone had a great christmas.
My Christmas was great and we celebrated "The Gift" of the Savior.
I love spending this time of year reflecting on His life, and setting goals to become better, and become more like Him.

Bobby Harris got baptized December 20th and it was a great day for their family. He is doing wonderful and we are so glad that we have had the chance to teach them!
We also had the baptism of Marionna, Tommy and Michael on December 28th!
This moment has been very much anticipated and I couldn't have been happier to be there! What a special day in their lives.
I have a very strong connection to Marionna and she reminds me a lot of my Sister Madison. I think I have mentioned that before, but I am just so happy that she is a part of my life and I am able to help teach their family!
I don't know if I mentioned that I was in a car accident a couple weeks ago. I actually got a concussion, and didn't feel very well for a couple days. But I am back to normal now and back to my perky self :)
The car was hurt much worse than we were. A texting teenager ran into the back of us while we were stopped at a light! He called his mom and said "Mom, I just ran into 2 nuns with my car."
hahaha, I was laughing because when his mom got here she was like....
"Oh, you aren't nuns." she was very confused to say the least! But I am just glad that we were mostly safe!!!!

We had our missionary zone conference and I got toilet paper!!!! It was awesome! We learned so much. We talked a lot about the parable of the currant bush.
Click below for a short, inspiring video.

I had a great christmas and of course the highlight of it was talking to my family via skype!!!! 

Well I will have to write more next week.... but I love and miss you all! Thank you for everything you do for me!
Love, Sister Brown

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